Friday, January 30, 2009

I'm going to make this job work!!

Lately I have been really frustrated with my job as a Parent Educator with Parents as Teachers. I don't see how you can call someone, set up a time to meet, and then they just don't show up??? Who does that? Apparently, a lot of people do! From what I have heard, this is fairly common in the beginning since I have all new families who have no clue about the program yet. I am starting to get several families though that I feel comfortable with, I have seen several times, and I feel like things are more established with them. I think if I can keep building up those families then everything will be fine! I really love the job when it goes how it should. When the families are home and I get to do a visit, it is so fun! It gives me a chance to totally make up my own schedule and get out of the house just a bit. Plus, I like seeing moms and dad's with their babies. I'm not babysitting or anything, I'm just watching them interact, sharing some info, and playing with them! It is going to work dang it!! I will make it work, but sometimes it is just frustrating!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Maybe that's why!

I've been thinking and praying for quite some time now about what I'm supposed to be. I've been so frustrated with the fact that I can't find my niche. I've had so many jobs and tried so many different majors and nothing seems to feel right. I love literature, but I've realized that is just a hobby for me and nothing I really want to pursue any further than that. I find science and the medical field so interesting, but being there never really sparked an intense passion in me. My parents as teachers job seemed like it was going to be so perfect but now I find myself just thinking, "'s ok." I've been trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I keep praying to God to lead me where I'm supposed to be and show me what I'm supposed to do. I just came to the realization that I think He already has. God gave me a heart for a big family and I think what He is wanting me to do is take care of them and raise them. I keep feeling like He is saying to me, "Isn't that enough? What more could you want?" And when I really think about it, that IS all I want. I honestly love being home with my boys. I love getting them ready for school and making their meals and taking them where they need to go. I love sitting and watching a movie with them or playing cars with them or reading books to them. I feel like God is telling me that my calling is right here at home. Since I've been in this mindset, things have been great here at home. I look at what I do here as more of a "job" than I did before (and not in a bad way!!). I actually enjoyed making dinner this week, and doing the laundry, and making sure the house was picked up before Jason got home from work. I enjoyed doing these things not because they were expected of me (Jason is SO not like that) but because I really wanted to do them. It's a struggle for me to not work full time, I'll be the first to admit that, but Jason and I both like me being home and God has always provided for us and I know He will continue to do so. I actually feel very at peace for once.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Deacon and Truman are 4!!!

Well, they will be tomorrow anyway :) This time 4 years ago, we were in the hospital and I was in labor with those sweet boys. The day I found out I was having twins will always stick out in my mind as one of the most memorable days of my life. We went in for our 20 week scan and as soon as she sat that probe on my belly I saw 2 spines and Jason saw 2 heads. Just the nonchalant way the tech said, "Oh, looks like there's 2 in there." makes me laugh to this day. We were on no fertility meds and have no family history of twins so to say we were in shock doesn't even begin to describe it. And then to find out we were having 2 more boys just made my day! the months that followed were filled with extra doctors appointment, sonograms, non-stress tests, bed rest, and those little suckers trying their hardest to come out early!! But we held on and they were born at 37.5 weeks. The fact that I delivered my twins vaginally is one of the proudest things I've done in my life. Deacon Tobias was born first at 6:37am weighing 6 pounds even. Truman Xavier was born 13 minutes later at 6:50am weighing 6 pounds 5 ounces. And what a joy it has been to raise twins. I can't believe I have already made it through them being babies and toddler and have already gone through potty training them!! Honestly not a day goes by that I don't look at them and think "Wow! I have TWINS! There are 2 of them that grew inside me at once! How blessed am I??" This first 4 years has flown by as I'm sure the next 4 and beyond will as well. I just try to enjoy them every day. Happy birthday Deacon and Truman!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

My "green" baby

I kind of got interested in this whole "going green" thing when I was pregnant with Sawyer. We are not totally over the top or anything but I am always looking for ways I can help the environment. We use reusable shopping bags and cloth napkins. We have compact florescent light bulbs and don't buy things like bottled water that create unnecessary trash. You know, simple stuff like that. One of the main reasons I decided to breastfeed Sawyer was because not only was it good for him and it helped us to bond, but it reduced out waste. No huge formula cans to throw away. I also made all of his baby food for the same reason. Not only was it really good for him (and easy to do) but it made no trash since I made it in ice cube trays that I reused over and over. Recently, I have stopped using store bought baby wipes in favor of a wash cloth with warm water on it. Not only do I know exactly what is going on his butt (um..water!) but if leave nothing to throw away! You throw it in the laundry and use it again. With Elliot, we are even going to take things one step further and use cloth diapers. I love that they save money, but even more than that I love that they are good for our planet. We feel like it is our responsibility to do what we can to help! I hope we can keep adding things to the list of what we are doing to help!

Monday, January 5, 2009

It's a New Year!

I'm not really much of a person to make New Year's resolutions. I think they can set you up for failure if it is something concrete and you don't achieve it. So, I would rather adopt some changes in my way of thinking for the new year:

1. I want to be a better mom. I feel like I do a fine job, but there is always room for improvement! I just want to fully enjoy and appreciate these precious gifts God has given to me. I want to enjoy each age and stage because I know how quickly they grow and that the little people they are today will soon be a memory.

2. I want to grow in my relationship with God. I know He has a plan for my life and that He is already out there setting it all up for me. I want to learn to lean on Him and trust Him more. By doing this, I will be a better wife and mother.

3. I want to be a better wife. I'm the one person is Jason's life who should always be building him up but a lot of times all I do is tear him down. I want to support him and encourage him and recognize that he is who he is because God made him that way. God made him to be my husband and the father of my children, everything else is just details.

If I can adopt these 3 ways of thinking, I think 2009 will be a great year!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Deke and Tru are VERY interested in Elliot!

Deacon and Truman are so funny when it comes to all things dealing with Elliot. This is the first baby I've had where they have really been old enough to kind of sort of know what is going on. Brodie is old hat at this big brother thing by now, he does love to sit with his hand on my belly in the evenings and feel her kick. Sawyer is still in denial of the fact that he is no longer going to be the baby. But Deke and Tru are always asking me lots of questions about it all. "Why is you tummy so big, momma?" "What if I don't like baby girls?" "Can she sit next to us in the van?" All kinds of cute questions! Well, tonight we had the BEST conversation! 
*"Hey, momma, is the doctor going to cut Elliot out of you tummy?"
*"Well, hon, I sure hope not!"
*"Well then how is she going to come out?"
*"I'll push her out like this." (then I closed my eyes and acted like I was pushing)
*"You mean like when you go poop?!?!"
*"Yeah, kind of like that."
*"Is she going to land in the toilet?"

At this point, I lost it and was totally cracking up!! They were both dead serious about the whole conversation though. I'm glad they are so excited :)